A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said,

 ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said

"Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store

and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.

The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!"

it said. "Yes?"

"You know."

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when

 his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the

cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked,

"What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up,

"and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned.

"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied,

"That's because he's inside your cat."